Se A Vida É (That's the Way Life Is)

The Way Life Is

Aristotle said, "The energy of the mind is the essence of life" (Metaphysics 12.1072b25). It's amazing to me that, all those centuries ago, without the aid of science, he was able to perceive this energy and the central role it plays in the way our minds work. The energy of the mind he refers to is a special type of energy, the basis of life itself. Some people call it spiritual energy or chi, the spark of life within that provides us with power, which in physical form is the source of the energy we need to move and in mental form is the source of our thoughts, intellect, and emotions (Hall, 2006). Other people call it the aura, a field of energy that surrounds each of us like a bubble and is the driving force of the psyche, existing in both the conscious and unconsious mind, being both emotional and intellectual (Huxley, 1944). Still others call it psychic energy, a dynamic force that lies beneath all of our mental processes and is the basis of our emotion, creativity, intellect, ability, and intuition (Hall & Nordby, 1999). Pychic energy is a force that comes from within but can be directed outward toward a specific outcome or manifestation, flowing to wherever our attention is placed. Psychic energy can be wasted by overthinking simple situations, being unecessarily indecisive, fearing future events, or overreacting to insignificant situations (Levin, 2016). These situations cause us to harbor unstable emotions, focus on negative outcomes, and direct our pyschic energy to the negative instead of the positive. All humans have psychic energy, whether they know it or not, whether they use it to their advantage or not, and we all have control over whether our psychic energy flows to things that will help us or things that will hurt us.

Another way to think of psychic energy is whether it's positive or negative, good or bad, with the implications the positive (good) energy leads to positive (good) outcomes, and negative (bad) energy leads to negative (bad) outcomes. I'm very often told that I have positive energy. That's not an accident. I choose to carry around this kind of energy because I believe it makes my life easier. My positive energy comes from my unwavering optimism. I'm a pie-eyed optimist who sees the silver lining in every cloud. I know lots of people who are negative nellies, and I often see their negativity and pessimism derail their happiness and take them down a dark path through life where it seems everyone is against them.

Glass Half Full

Many people think optimists see only the positive in life, but that's not true at all. Optimism doesn't allow anyone to completely block the negativity they experience. Instead, it enables them to view negativity in a more productive way, allowing them to cope with the negative emotions because they know there will be more positive experiences in the future. This is why optimistic people tend to be loving, compassionate, kind, and supportive, which allows other people to feel safe and relaxed around them. In contrast, pessimistic people tend to be judgemental, complaining, and insulting, which makes other people feel insecure and tense (Kreuger, 2009). Positive energy can improve a person's life by helping to bring about positive outcomes, while negative energy can make life more difficult and more stressful by bringing about negative outcomes.

Sometimes it seems like negative energy is everywhere, draining me of my positivity and forcing me into the dark hole of pessimism. It's difficult for me to deal with this, so I've learned to be proactive about how I deal with negative energy.

I do the things that make me happy. As long as the things that make me happy don't infringe upon the things that make others happy, I do them as much as I want. We are often compelled, by social obligation, to do things we don't want to do, like hanging out with someone we don't like so we can hang out with some we do like or participating in activities because it's what someone else wants us to do. That is not the road to happiness. When I spend my free time doing the things I enjoy, I have more positive energy when doing those things. And the more time I spend doing them, the more positive energy I have, even when not doing them.

I choose to see the good in people. Everyone has good in them, but some people are so negative, all we can see is their negativity. When we encounter someone like this, we make a choice, whether consciously or unconsciously, about how we will react to them. Instead of allowing someone's negativity to bring me down, I look for the good in them and try to use my positive energy to bring them up. I had a particularly negative coworker once who never said anything positive about anything, ever. He was a good person who had many admirable qualities, but almost every conversation with him left me feeling like I wanted to kill myself. To combat this, I tried to end every conversation with him in a positive way by pointing out the positve in a situation or sometimes just telling him how right he was (even if I didn't believe it). I'm not sure if he ever even noticed, but it always made me feel good for trying, which I think everyone would agree is better feeling like I wanted to kill myself.

I look for the positve. Sometimes this means consciously thinking happy thoughts. Other times it means shifting my perspective so I can view a situation in the most positive way. Other times it means finding whatever positivity exists in a situation and clinging to it so I can more easily deal with the negative. Making the conscious effort to always see the positive trains the mind to think positively, after all it's easier to see the positive in every situation if your brain is already thinking positive thoughts.

I surround myself with positive people. Life is hard. We don't always get what we want or even what we need, and there never seems to be a shortage of people telling us we will not succeed. The people I allow into my life inspire me to be a better person, motivate me to achieve my goals, and celebrate with me when I achieve those goals. By surrounding myself with positive people, good times come more easily and more often.

I let go of negative emotions. Wallowing in self-pity is never pretty. What's worse is when I wallow in shame, anger, or any other negative emotion. Emotions are, by their very nature, fleeting. They flow in and out of our psyche like water flows in a stream, unimpeded...unless we hold onto them. I do whatever I need to do to release the negative emotions that hold me back and prevent me from moving forward after a negative life event. The sooner I do this, the sooner I feel the familiar warmth of positivity.

I remain present. The present moment is just one moment in a lifetime contiuum of moments, but it is the most important of all moments. The past has already happened and cannot be changed. The future hasn't happened yet and can be made to be what we want it to be. The only time we can act in a way to bring about postive outcomes is in the present moment, right now. I try to keep myself and my thoughts grounded so I am free of mental distractions, and this gives me the ability to focus on what is happening around me, to appreciate the perfection of the present moment.

Our psychic energy influences our happiness and life satisfaction in a very fundamental way. People with positive energy tend to have more positive experiences than those with negative energy. That is not to say their experiences are better, only that they tend to perceive them as being positive. Positive energy creates positive emotions, which actively helps people create desirable outcomes (Cohn et al, 2009). We filter everything we experience through our worldview, using it to interpret every event in our lives. It is how we perceive our experiences that makes them seem positive or negative. Our psychic energy influences what we think and how we feel about the things we experience. This is why two people, one with positive energy and one with negative energy, can experience the exact same situation yet have two completely different perceptions of it.

My Personal Philosophy

Everyone has a personal philosophy, whether they know it or not, whether they've formally defined it or not, whether they interact with it consciously or not. A personal philosophy is defined as the deep personal beliefs, ideas, expectations, values, and views an individual holds about life and everything life involves (Fischer, 2009). A personal philosophy is an integral part of how humans function in daily life. It is what a person stands for, what makes them who they are. A personal philosophy makes up the majority of our belief system. It is a mindset that determines how we view all things in life. It is the basis of our identity, our id. Our personal philosophy determines how we interpret and respond to everything we experience. Our personal philosophy develops throughout our lives as we experience situations that challenge our beliefs and make us reconsider how we view the world. As it develops, we integrate multiple belief systems, philosophies, and spiritual disciplines, but our personal philosophy transcends all of them, serving as a single, unifying way of viewing the world. The majority of our personal philosophy is made up of our beliefs, thoughts, and assumptions about ourselves, other people, and the world we live in (Jacobsen, 2013). These core beliefs determine how we perceive, interpret, and respond to everything and everyone we encounter (Tollefson, 2012). The importance of a personal philosophy for our happiness and fulfillment in life cannot be understated. A personal philosophy gives life meaning and purpose. Without a personal philosophy, we might spend all our time preoccupied with distractions, never considering if they are important or if they add value to our lives. This lack of purpose could only lead to a lack of fulfillment.

Although we live our lives by our personal philosophy, most people rarely even think about it. Aside from writing this bit of my website, I can't remember the last time I considered what my personal philsophy is or what it does for my life. Here is a feeble attempt to desribe it for you:

My personal motto. If you can't be smart, be funny, and if you're not good looking, you damn well better be nice. It implies that if you are smart or good looking, life tends to be kind to you, but a good sense of humor and good old genuine human kindness might also do the trick. I see real life examples of the beauty paradox all the time, and it has been proven by multiple scientific studies. Men and women who are extremely attractive earn 4% more than people with ordinary looks; beautiful people are called back for job interviews and are also hired far more often than their ordinary looking friends; they are considered more able by their managers and receive promotions faster than other workers; attractive sales people often earn more revenue for the company, and attractive CEOs tend to bring better stock returns for their companies (Akhtar and Baer, 2019). A similarly strong argument can be made for the superintelligent, superhumorous, and supernice.

There is a higher power. Although I am not sure about the exact nature of this higher power, I am certain it is nothing like Christianity's God. My belief in a higher power began with the realization that there are forces in the universe that are greater than I am, such as nature, gravity, and the universe itself. When I examined these forces as a group, I noticed they are very powerful forces that often act to restore balance. On a very basic level, my higher power is a force that keeps the universe in balance.

The energy I give is the energy I get. I'm always positive, even when there is no reason to be or I'm just fed up with other people's negativity. I always have a positive word to say, even if I don't always mean it. I think negative thoughts all the time. I just don't verbalize them. I do this because like attracts like, negative energy attracts negative energy and positive energy attracts positive energy. Even when I'm having a tremendously bad day, I soldier through it, doing my best to not let it show on the outside. Put another way, if I spend the whole day being negative about everything and everyone, why would I expect everyone and everything to be positive in the way they respond to me?

Every man must judge himself first. There's no shortage of judgement in this world. Everywhere I turn, it seems like someone's judging me. Although it contradicts what I just stated....these judgemental fuckers are too chicken shit to judge themselves so they spend all their time casting judgement on other people, doesn't matter who as long as it's not them. This is the worst wasat of time. Casting judgement on other people serves no legitmate purpose. Nobody's gonna change just because some stupid fuck is judging them. But when we judge ourselves, change happens. It is only when we have judged ourselves thoroughly and have attained perfection that we should cast a judgemental eye on other people. But we will never attain perfection.

Sometimes, you can't fight fate. Sometimes it seems no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to avoid the inevitable. Although I don't believe in fate in the strictest sense of the word, I do believe somethings are unavoidable, and it is wise to understand when to resist and when to go with the flow.

Growth depends on knowledge. Learning is one of the few things humans do throughout our lives. My growth as an individual and our growth as a society depends entirely upon what we learn, and everything we learn comes from other people, either directly or indirectly. By approaching every encounter with another human as an opportunity to learn, life's answers come to us more easily. I firmly believe there are no stupid people. We all possess knowledge that other people do not. That puts every individual in the position of being the teacher.

Life has a distinct purpose. I still haven't figured out mine, but I firmly believe I was not put on this planet at random. And neither were you!

Eyes don't lie. Eyes are the windows to the soul. They will tell you everything you want to know about a person if you know how to read them. My mom always said, "Never trust anyone who wears sunglasses in the house." When someone covers their eyes for no reason, like wearing sunglasses in the house, there must be a reason, and it's not to protect their eyes. Even the best liar exhibits changes in eye contact when they are being dishonest. It may be noticeable to you, but those who are very close to the liar can pick up on this subtle cue.

Works Cited

Akhtar, Allana, & Baer, Drake. (2019). Scientific reasons why attractive people are more successful in life. Business Insider

Cohn, M. A., Fredrickson, B. L., Brown, S. L., Mikels, J. A., & Conway, A. M. (2009). Happiness unpacked: Positive emotions increase life satisfaction. Emotion, 9(3), 361–368. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0015952

Fischer, Lawrence. (2009). Towards a personal philosophy. English Journal, 68(4), 92-93.

Hall, Kathleen. (2006). A Life in Balance: Nourishing the Four Roots of True Happiness. New York City, NY: AMACOM.

Hall, Calvin S., Nordby, Vernon J. (1999). A Primer of Jungian Psychology New York City, NY: Meridian.

Huxley, J. (1944). On living in a revolution. London, England: Chatto & Windus.

Jacobsen, S. (2013). Identifying and Analysing Your Personal Beliefs. Harley Therapy Counselling Blog. Retrieved from https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/core-beliefs-cbt.htm

Levin, Marissa. (2016). The most destructive ways to waste our psychic energy. Inc.

Tollefson, Bill. (2012) Making A Positive Change. Tollefson Enterprises.

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