Delusions of Grandeur

Unruly Umbrella Behavior

Most years in San Francisco, it rains all winter long, sometimes for weeks without a single dry day. With all that rain come umbrellas, and of course, whenever there are umbrellas, there are people holding those umbrellas. Using an umbrella on sidewalks in the city is a much different experience than using an umbrella on sidewalks elsewhere. Sidewalks in the city are already overcrowded, even when it's not raining, and the addition of thousands of umbrellas can make the walk home from work seem like a carnival game where the objective is to get through a maze without getting poked in the eye. It doesn't have to be that way, but for it to change, the people holding the umbrellas must change.

We've all experienced unruly umbrella behavior. Perhaps some of us have exhibited this kind of behavior at some point in the past. Oversized umbrellas that can keep an entire family dry being used by one person who seems oblivious to the fact that everyone else on the sidewalk has to jump out of the way as they approach. Out of control umbrellas pointing and poking everyone in the ribs or worse if they get too close. Fly away umbrellas blown by the wind getting in the way of drivers and pedestrians alike, making it unsafe to walk or drive. It is our right to own and use umbrellas that protect us from the rain, stand up to he wind, cover what we need covered, and last long enough to get our money's worth, but that right does not negate our duty as pedestrians to share the limited space above us on sidewalks.

Umbrella Etiquette

Responsible umbrella use is not a difficult concept to understand, but it requires consideration of someone other than oneself. In a world where too many people think they are the only person who matters, consideration of other people can sometimes be difficult to find, especially on a city sidewalk. Responsible umbrella use requires one to adhere to a set of unwritten rules that govern such behavior. It requires an umbrella user to stop for a second to consider his environment and how his use of an umbrella might affect those around him.

Umbrella Size: The purpose of an umbrella is to protect you from the rain, and it should be just big enough to prevent the rain from falling on your head. A right size umbrella is easier to manage and does not take up more than your share of the space above your head. In the United States, umbrellas are typically measured by their arc size, the distance from the end of one rib to the end of the opposite rib on the external part of the umbrella. The average arc size is 42 inches.

Opening/Closing: When opening your umbrella, point it down and away from anyone who might be near you. Nobody likes to have an umbrella pop open right in front of their face or be sprayed with the stale water from the last time you used it. Likewise, before entering a building, step aside when you close your umbrella and shake the water off of it so you don't get in the way of others entering the building.

Keep Control: When walking with an umbrella, make sure it stays in your control. Hold onto it tightly to make sure it doesn't get blown away by unexpected wind gusts. Hold it at a 45 degree angle, behind or in front of your head depending on the wind, so the tips never point straight out to avoid any one of the tips poking any pedestrian in the eye.

Passing: When passing someone who is shorter than you, raise your umbrella. When passing someone who is taller than you, lower your umbrella. When passing someone who is the same height as you, tilt your umbrella slightly to the right, just enough for you to remain covered but allow the other person to get by without an umbrella collision.

Multitasking: It's pretty easy hold an umbrella over your head, but it's not so easy to do it when you're also carrying something in your arms or holding something in your other hand. You're already having a tough enough job going around all the huge puddles and avoiding being splashed by cars. Do just one thing on your walk to work on those rainy days: hold your umbrella.

Cell Phones: I have never seen anyone successfully talk or text on their cell phone while they're carrying an umbrella. It always slows their pace, forcing the people walking at a normal pace to go around them, which is much more difficult than usual because everyone has umbrellas in their hands and yours is already out of your control.

Public Transportation: The same rules apply when opening or closing your umbrella to get on a city bus or enter the subway station. When you stop to close your umbrella right in front of the entrance, everyone behind you must also stop, which means nobody goes anywhere until you're done closing your umbrella. How about closing the umbrella as the bus is pulling up? A few raindrops won't hurt you. When you're on the bus, hold your closed umbrella on the floor in front of you, not on the empty seat next to you so the rainwater doesn't run off into an empty seat, which would make the seat unusable until well after you get off the bus.

Closed Umbrellas: If your umbrella doesn't collapse, carry it carefully with the pointed end pointing down, when you're not using it. Don't tuck it under your arm with the pointed end ready to stab anyone who gets too close to you in the elevator. This may not feel like a natural way of holding a closed umbrella, but it avoids potential embarassing social situations.

Sharing: When you're waiting to cross the street and the person next to you doesn't have an umbrella, offer to share your umbrella for the walk to the other corner. It's just a nice thing to do.

Working: Once you get to work, put your closed umbrella in a bag and place it under your desk where it is out of the way. This helps keep the office neat and orderly. You can dry your umbrella when you get home.

Successful umbrella use requires the umbrella holder to weave his way through and around other umbrella holders, ideally without ever touching tips with another umbrella. You may have to make eye contact with other people from time to time. You may need to pay attention to what's happening around you. And you may not be able to use your cell phone until you get to where you're going. But you'll get there with peace of mind and an umbrella that hasn't been beaten by every umbrella you passed along the way.

A Short History of Umbrellas

Unless you've been to someplace like China, Taiwan, or Japan on a sunny summer day, you've probably only seen pictures of dainty Asian women using parasols to protect themselves from the sun. The idea of using an umbrella for sun protection may seem odd to us in the United States, but umbrellas were invented for this very purpose. As early as 4000 B.C., large umbrellas were used to shade rulers from the sun in the civilizations of ancient Rome, Greece, Egypt, and many other places (Coopersmith, 2019). Those umbrellas were designed and built with very different materials than modern day rain umbrellas, materials like feathers, leaves, and leather. Umbrellas didn't make it into European societies until the late 1600s, when they were made with woven silk and used only by fashionable women, primarily as symbols of prestige and wealth. By 1750, silk had been replaced by more durable material, and umbrellas had begun to be mass produced, making them more accessible to women everywhere and useful for more than just sun protection for more than just women. The use of umbrellas by men resulted from the intentional efforts of a single gentleman, Jonas Hanway, who carried an umbrella with him everywhere he went day or night, rain or shine, for more than thirty years until the fad of male umbrella use caught on (Ortiz, 2018). Hanway singlehandedly railed against societal norms, defended himself against high society bullying, and steadfastly continued his daily umbrella donning until it became acceptable for men to protect themselves from the rain. The materials used to make umbrellas has slowly evolved (whalebones, wood, steel, aluminum, and finally fiberglass for the shaft and ribs; leaves, feathers, leather, silk, and finally nylon for the canopy), but the same basic shape has remained consistent, making it one of the oldest technologies still in existence.

Works Cited

Coopersmith, Christopher. (2019). "Can sun umbrellas ever become fashionable again in America?" Retrieved from https://liberalarts.tamu.edu/blog/2019/09/04/can-sun-umbrellas-ever-become-fashionable-again-in-america/

Ortiz, Gerald. (2018). "Taking Cover: The Long History of the Umbrella." Retrieved from https://www.heddels.com/2018/09/taking-cover-the-long-history-of-the-umbrella/

---