Vulnerable

Personal Growth

Life is a journey for all of us, and for each of us, the journey is different. The path we take through life, our journey, is as unique as we are. Becoming aware of our journey, seeing where it's taking us, and being able to direct it to where we want it to take us requires a great deal of psychological, emotional, and spiritual growth. This personal growth starts when we are very young and continues until we are very old, slowly transforming how we view everyone we encounter and everything we experience. It is only through personal growth that we can deepen how we understand our sense of self and see the truth of who we are beneath the layers of personality we constantly use to show others, and ourselves, who we want them to believe we are. We all have these layers of personality, different versions of ourselves we use in different situations and with different people. With our parents maybe we are the good child, with our peers a loyal friend, at work we are the dedicated employee, with close friends the empathetic listener, and so on and so on. Many people switch from one personality to another so naturally, so frequently, and so easily they don't even realize they're doing it. This is not the way to get into the driver's seat of our life journey, to take control of our destiny. That requires the ability to see ourselves clearly and objectively. We must be open to honest feedback from others, who very often know us better than we know ourselves, but more importantly, we must be open and honest with ourselves about who we are and what we want from life. This self-awareness is the driving force of personal growth, and it is how someone comes to know and understand their own character, feelings, motivations, values, and desires (Jabr, 2012). Self-awareness is a process of reflection and evaluation that causes us to contemplate who we are, where our strengths and weaknesses lay, what drives us to do the things we do, why we choose to pick up the habits we pick up, and what values we choose to hold dear to us.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the recognition of one's own personality and individuality, an awareness of our own psychological and emotional state, an understanding of the emotions we are feeling, the cause of those emotions, and the influence they are having on our behavior, thought processes, and perceptions. This is the key to our lives. It's how we move from being a spectator of our life's journey to being in the driver's seat directing it to where we want it to take us. To attain the happiness we all seek in life, happiness that comes from deep within us, lighting up every cell in our bodies, we must design our life's path based on who we really are. By doing so, our purpose in life will align with our path, each goal we achieve will get us one step closer to where we want to go. When we live life on our own terms, working toward our own goals, we attain as much happiness from the journey as we do from reaching the destination. Self-awareness is the first step of personal growth, and it is without a doubt the most important.

Benefits of Personal Growth

The path of personal growth can sometimes seem like driving along a treacherous road in the darkness without a way to stop. After all, it is scary to face a part of ourselves we don't like, much less turn and embrace it like a long-lost friend. But the rewards it gives to us are endless. Personal growth always has a positive impact on our lives, and can feel that impact in every part of our lives, and the skills and experiences that result from it lead us to a richer, happier, more fulfilling life.

I discuss a few of the benefits of personal growth below.

Self-Confidence Self-confidence is the trust we have in ourselves to accomplish the things we want to accomplish. Our confidence to perform in different roles, complete different tasks, or deal with different situations comes and goes depending on the role, task, or situation. Sometimes it even varies day by day. When we grow as a person, we realize there is something about ourselves that we want to change, then we change it. It doesn't happen quickly (it never happens quickly), but we remain consistently aware of that part of ourselves we want to change, and over time, it transforms into something we like. As a result, we view ourselves as better than before, which boosts our self-confidence. It doesn't matter what we change, whether it is something important to us or some small habit we learn to break. What gives us the confidence boost is the fact that we changed it.

Self-Esteem Self-esteem is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves as a whole. Everybody harbors negative feelings about themselves. These negative feelings can lead to negative self-talk, telling ourselves we're not capable of doing this or not good enough to do that. But when we learn a new skill, it can give us a fresh perspective, better self-awareness to allow us to feel better about ourselves. The better we feel about ourselves, the better life gets, and the better life is, the high our self-esteem.

Stress There is so much in life to stress us out. Many people feel stressed when they don't know what's going on around them, are uncertain about the future, or don't think they have what it takes to accomplish their goals. When we improve our skills, we can do things faster and better, and we can more accurately determine if we have what it takes to accomplish the things we want to accomplish. This decreases the uncertainty in life and gives us more control over our future, which lowers our stress level.

Direction It's easy to lose sight of our goals, especially when we face tough challenges in life. When we decide to change something about ourselves, then change it, or when we learn a new skill that allows us to do something easier and faster, it can allow us to accomplish our goals and renew our direction in life. Personal growth adds meaning to our lives. It allows us to know what we're doing and why we're doing it, which us to see the big picture in our lives, and this allows us to better focus on what our goals should be and the direction our lives need to take to accomplish those goals.

Resilience We all get beat down by life from time to time. Resilience is the ability to bounce back when things don't our way, and it is built on challenge, commitment, and control. Challenging situations are opportunities for growth. It's difficult to grow from something that doesn't challenge us. When we're faced with a challenging situation, the best thing to do is commit yourself to your goals, and this will give us a sense of purpose in life. This allows us to shift our focus to things we have control over, and this makes us feel empowered. By working on ourselves and improving the parts of us we don't like, we develop more resilience and learn to be more objective.

Relationships There are many types of relationships. Some are good for us, some are bad for us. Relationships that hold us back or drag us down are not good for us, and the sooner we end them, the better. Through personal growth, we learn to view others as they are, and this clarity allows us to more easily see which relationships are worth investing in and which need to be cut loose. Personal growth also helps us develop the skills to make the most of the relationships that have the most positive impact on our lives. The better we know ourselves, the more confidence and self-esteem we have, and the easier it is to recognize the right people for us. The relationships that are best for us are mutually beneficial. When we spend more time with people who motivate us to be better and less time with those who bring us down, every part of our lives will benefit as a result. Personal growth teaches us how to identify those people and value our relationships with them.

Inspiration When other people see how much you are growing as a person, it can inspire them to do the same. The best way to inspire other is to stay true to yourself and let your actions speak for themselves. By sharing your vision and enthusiasm with them, it will motivate them to see the possibilities in their own lives.

Many of the misconceptions about forgiveness come from our culture, from previous generations that did not have the advantages of modern psychiatry to guide their knowledge of the brain. They often paired forgiveness things things we now know should not be. Forgive and forget, or it's good to forgive but better to forget. For far too long, decisional forgiveness, with its off center focus, was all we knew. The concept of forgive to heal the pain, is a modern concept.

The Steps of Personal Growth

Personal growth happens naturally, but it is much more meaningful when we cause it to happen. People who intentionally set out to enrich their lives through self-growth are generally happier and more successful in achieving their goals. Self-directed personal growth is the direct result of efforts made to improve yourself by changing your habits, behavior, actions, reactions, or any other part of yourself you want to improve. Whether it is learning to control your anger, beating the urge to procrastinate, overcoming your own laziness, being more considerate of the needs of others, developing a new skill, adopting a more positive attitude, or replacing any other negative attribute with a less negative or even positive one, when we set out to intentionally change some part of ourselves to make it better, the rewards always make it worth the effort. Here are some things we can do to spark our personal growth.

Learn Learning is one of the few activities humans do throughout their entire lives, from birth to death. The ability to learn is perhaps the most powerful skill humans have, and the more open we are to it, the more beneficial it can be. Whether it happens through formal study or through interpersonal experiences, expanding our knowledge never fails to improve how we view ourselves. Today, the Internet provides us with an unlimited number of free resources to help us learn new things. We can also learn from our interpersonal encounters by being open-minded and paying attention to others when they describe experiences they've had or share their thoughts on topics of interest. Everyone we meet has knowledge we don't have. When are approach our encounters with other people from this perspective, we are more open to learn from them.

Volunteer Volunteer opportunities provide ample opportunities to attain new skills or find valuable new perspectives. No matter the volunteer role, there are skills to learn, skills that can be applied to other parts of your life. Without volunteering, you might never have the opportunity to learn these new skills. Doing good by helping others helps you learn to empathize with others and undoubtedly will expand your worldview. I've volunteered extensively in many different roles to help the homeless, and by doing so, I've learned to better appreciate my life and how fortunate I am, knowing how much worse it could be and how little others have.

Travel There is no better way to gain new perspectives than traveling to other places, especially to places in other countries. Until you've traveled to another country, you can't truly understand where you fit in with the world. When you leave the United States, you quickly learn there are people and places that are radically different from who you are and where you live. Traveling out of the country challenges your thought processes and causes you to view yourself and the world around you from a completely different perspective. When I was in my early 20s, I traveled quite a lot because I worked for a major U.S. airline. On my first international trip, I realized the United States is not the center of the world (it's just one spoke in the hub of life), that many people view Americans negatively (no matter where you go), and that the United States is a very young country (the architecture in Europe ). senses and personal growth. Though international travel offers the most stimulation, you don't have to go to a different country to see something new. Oftentimes, even a different city or state could be the catalyst that inspires your creativity and happiness.

Create Creativity promotes self-awareness, which is an important aspect of personal growth and development. It's unnecessary to be a particularly skilled creative in order to experience the benefits of creativity. Whether you decide to dance, draw, write, photograph, play music, act or choose any other creative pursuit, you will find that the act of creating is cathartic and, ultimately, it's way more important than the end result.

Evaluate Self-awareness is a key aspect of personal growth, so it's important that you take some time to do a full evaluation of your life. Here are some important questions to ask yourself that will help guide you through effectively evaluating your life: What is your life like now? What areas are you happy with? What areas do you feel need to improve? What would you like your life to be like? How do you hope to improve yourself, and why is it important that you do so? How do you accomplish these changes, and what do you need to do so? What knowledge and experiences will aid in your personal development? Spend time looking for resources to help you along your journey. What is your timeline? Make a list of activities and things you'd like to experience, and create milestones, to keep track of your progress. Once you've confronted your shortcomings, make plans to improve them. Being aware is only part of the struggle. Creating change and self-growth requires action, so start by taking small steps to improve your situation in life. .

Manage Wasting time is all too easy, and most of us do it for hours every single day without realizing it. It can feel like you don't have time, but that's likely just an illusion. You have time, you'll just need to modify how you spend it. Prioritizing your personal growth will radically change how you spend your free time. Here are some common time-wasting activities, and how you can restructure them to benefit your personal development: Watch less television and when you do watch, truly focus on watching shows and films that you love instead of binging something you're really uninterested in. Reduce the amount of time that you spend aimlessly surfing the internet. Consider setting a timer to make you aware of how much time has passed. Rethink your commute and consider taking the bus instead of driving. You could then use the time to read, meditate or listen to podcasts and learn new information or skills. Recruit some of your friends to turn a mindless hangout into something more constructive and/or productive, like volunteering, spending time in nature by hiking or kayaking, playing a sport or taking a class together..

Works Cited

Enright, R. D. & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association, 10(6), 194-197.

Jabr, Ferris (2012). Self-Awareness with a Simple Brain. Scientific American Mind, 23(5), 28–29. doi:10.1038/scientificamericanmind1112-28

McCullough, M. E., Root, L. M., & Cohen, A. D. (2006). Writing about the benefits of an interpersonal transgression facilitates forgiveness. Journal of Consulting And Clinical Psychology, 74(5), 887-897.

Duval, T. S., & Silvia, P. J. (2002). Self-awareness, probability of improvement, and the self-serving bias. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(1), 49–61. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.82.1.49

Ahtisham Younas, Subia Parveen Rasheed, Amara Sundus, & Shahzad Inayat. (2020). Development and Testing of a Measure of Self-awareness. West J Nurs Res. Journal, 43(1), 36-44. doi: 10.1177/0193945920923079

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