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How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously
People and Their Fucking Cell Phones
Cell phones are everywhere these days. Nobody wants to feel disconnected, so we carry our cell phones with us everywhere we go. I never leave my apartment without mine, even when I do laundry, which is in the same building. For some people, their cell phone is their entire life. They can't function without it. Modern smart phones have become far more than just cell phones. They're communication hubs for our personal and professional lives, allowing us to communicate with other people in different formats and on multiple platforms. They're also personal organizers, social network tools, calendars, alarm clocks, online shopping tools, mobile banks, and much more. The flexible and highly dynamic nature of object-oriented programming enables the functionality of cell phones to be continuously extended, limited only by the imaginations of cell phone software engineers.
The advanced functionality of cell phones has changed the way we think and behave. It has changed how we connect with one another and the way our society is structured. When was the last time you saw a pay phone...anywhere? Life is simply not the same without a cell phone. Nomophobia (short for "no mobile phobia") is the fear of losing, breaking, or just not having a working cell phone, a syndrome caused by problematic digital media use (Bala and Chaudhary, 2020). Cell phones have built-in cameras with advanced editing functionality that allows the cell phone owner to take a picture, edit it, and share it with family, friends, and followers faster than it takes a polaroid picture to develop. Cell phone cameras allow us to memorialize the events of our lives in pictures that our phones organize for us. But it's not all love and roses. The advanced functionality of cell phones could allow someone to spy on another person, without their knowledge and without their consent. There is now an app that uses facial recognition to find anyone's social media profile using only a picture of their face. Just take a quick picture when they're not paying attention, and like magic, you know who they are and everything about them, at least everything they've shared on social media. It's only a matter of time before someone figures out how to use this technology to exploit other people.
These thoughts and others like them are what I was thinking about one day when I realized how often other people's cell phone cameras were pointed at me in public.
Phobias
Most adults have experienced the effects of some sort of phobia at some point in their life. A phobia is an overwhelming and debilitating fear that develops from an exaggerated and unrealistic sense of danger (Hamm, 2009). About a third of adults experience Ophidiophobia, fear of snakes, but it probably has little effect on their lives, except maybe it prevents them from walking through a field of tall grass. In contrast, Agoraphobia is the fear of open or crowded places, and many people who experience this phobia end up being afraid to leave their home because it is the only place where they feel safe. They are so severely affected by their fear that they restrict their daily activities and organize their entire life around avoiding the anxiety they experience. A fear is not considered to be a phobia unless its effects overwhelm or debilitate the person experiencing it. For example, someone who experiences a fear of falling when they use a ladder is thought to be afraid of heights, but someone who is so afraid of falling off a ladder that they have a panic attack that makes it impossible for them to move is thought to suffer from Acrophobia. All phobias are based on an irrational fear of something that, in reality, poses little or no actual danger. In fact, sometimes a person's reaction to a phobia poses more of a threat than the phobia itself. Phobias can be based on a fear of animals, natural environments, social situations, blood, sex, and many other things we experience every day of our lives (Mandich et al, 2020). When I first realized how often other people's cell phone cameras were pointed at me, I thought I was in the throws of a phobia that was based on a fear of being secretly photgraphed or videotaped, a phobia so horrible that no one had ever even heard of it.
I don't remember exactly when this started, mainly because it started before I was aware of it starting, but I certainly know why it started.
In the Beginning
At the time, I had a roommate who suffered from something that was very similar to the phobia I thought I had. For my roomate, it manifested as a cell phone phobia, but in actuality, it was not the cell phone but its camera that bothered him. His fear was triggered whenever he saw a cell phone camera pointed at him. It didn't matter whose cell phone it was or who was holding it. One time, to prove a point, I picked up his cell phone and pointed the camera at him, and his reaction was the same as it always was. He reacted the same way when it was me as he did when it was anyone else. It didn't seem to matter how well he knew or trusted the person either. He and I had known one another for years, and he trusted me with things that were far more dangerous than holding a cell phone. His phobia wasn't a big deal at first. We all have our idiosyncrasies, and he was ordinarily very easy to get along with, so I could easily overlook this one irritating behavior. His reaction was mild at first. He would give an odd look or politely ask whoever was holding the cell phone to point it in a different direction. All of his friends, myself included, got used to him wigging out, but as time went on, his tolerance for cell phone cameras pointing at him steadily decreased while his reaction to them steadily increased as he slowly grew to hate being around anyone who had a cell phone in their hands. It got so bad that I'd be sitting down using my cell phone when he'd walk in front of me, then freak out about my camera pointing at him, sometimes even before he walked in front of my phone. I was patient and understanding for as long as I could, but his little idiosyncrasy eventually started to get on my nerves. We started have disagreements about it, and those disagreements eventually turned into arguments, which on several occassions almost turned into physical altercations. By the time I came up with the solution, we would skip the disagreement and jump straight to the argument, no introductory "Don't point your camera at me" from him and no "Fuck off idiot" from me, just straight to the "You are so fucking stupid" from me and "Get out of my fucking house" from him. Our future as roommates together was bleak, at best.
One day, just as I was about to throw a "Fuck off idiot" at him, a little voice in my head said something that got my attention. "Just change the way you hold the phone." It was so fast, it almost didn't register that I'd heard it. I looked at my phone and thought for a few seconds about what the voice was trying to tell me, then I took matters into my own hands...literally.
I held my cell phone like most people hold their cell phones, with my fingers wrapped around the bottom of the back of the phone. Acting on the tip I'd just gotten from my own mind, I moved my fingers about an inch up on the back of the phone, whereupon they landed directly over the camera lens. I was amazed at how simple a solution it was, so simple it made me wonder why it took so long for me to come up with it. I discussed the solution with my roommate, but all I got from him was a "just don't point your phone at me anymore". For the record, I've never pointed my cell phone at anybody. Anyway, I waited until the next time he freaked out about it. Just as he getting ready for the fight that would surely come, I asked him to explain to me how I could take a picture of him when my fingers were over the camera lens. Just like that, peace was restored in our home. The solution was a very simple adjustment of the placement of my fingers on the back of the phone, not a big deal. The phone was just as comfortable with my fingers around the top of it as it was with my fingers around the bottom of it. Still, I considered it a very clever move on my part and was rather proud of myself for coming up with it.
Transferance
With the solution well in hand, peace quickly made itself at home in our home, something we were both very happy about. The problem is that it didn't last long. About month after implementing my clever solution, I was struck by an unpleasant realization. I noticed, for the first time, that his cell phone camera was pointed at me. I didn't say anything that first day, but I started paying attention. I quickly realized that his cell phone camera was pointed at me on a regular basis. At times, because of where we were in relation to one another in the room, he had to hold his cell phone in such an odd way he couldn't even use it. When I pointed this out to him, his response was a little less than it should have been under normal circumstances, but considering recent past events, it was simply not acceptable. The arguments started again, but now we found ourselves in opposite roles. I constantly yelled at him about his cell phone, and he constantly yelled at me about how stupid I was. Along with these new arguments, there came something else, something altogether different. His stark refusal to do what I had done only a month before infuriated me, and it caused me to become hyperaware of his cell phone camera and where it was pointed. That hyperawareness made me hypersensitive to any cell phone that happened to be pointed in my direction. I began to notice it in other places by other people...walking down the street, at work, at Starbucks, just about everyone everywhere. Somehow, I had taken on his phobia as my own, and it was already beginning to drive me crazy. I want to be clear. I never thought my roommate was doing anything secretly. I was just pissed off at his hipocracy and refused to accept it as the status quo. The same anger I felt about the situation at home followed me wherever I went, and whenever I saw a cell phone camera pointed at me in public, I wanted to go off on whoever was holding the cell phone. Although I am now ashamed to admit it, on several occassions I DID go off on them.
A League of My Own
I would really like to refer to my experience as a phobia, mainly because having a phobia implies it was out of my control, that fear crept into my pysche without my knowledge and without my consent. I would like to be able to tell you that I suffered from an overwhelming and debilitating fear of being secretly videotaped or photographed. I would like to but I can't. There are three main reason why I can't do that. First, there is no such phobia, at least no term that refers to it specifically. Scopophobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by the fear of being seen or stared at by others (Henelly, 2018). This phobia comes closest to what I experienced, but Scopophobia is an anxiety triggered by attention from others in a social situation, such as being introduced to new people or speaking in front of a group of people. Second, all phobias are based on an intense, irrational fear. My anxiety manifested as intense anger, not fear. My anger was certainly irrational, but the underlying emotional state was not fear. I experienced many of the same symptoms as a phobia would cause. Rapid heartbeat, sweating, hot flushes, feelings of dread whenever I noticed a cell phone camera pointed at me in public. But these symptoms were triggered by anger, not fear. Third, I've conducted extensive Internet research on this topic, and that research has not turned up anyone, not one person, who has described experiencing a phobia like this. I found some posts from people looking for a term for it, but nobody claiming to have suffered from it. Again, I would like to tell you that I suffered from a phobia, but I can't because I didn't. Then what was it? Paranoia is an irrational belief that someone or a group of someones intend to cause harm (Freeman and Garety, 2000). This is not quite it either because I never thought anyone intended to cause me harm. I never even thought anyone was actually taking my picture or videotaping me. In fact, I never suspected anyone of doing anything wrong or untoward. Maybe I was just crazy. One thing's for sure, this experience put me in a league of my own.
A year after the experience began, I moved into my own apartment. No roommate, no cell phone cameras, just me and all my idiosyncracies. The weird anger/phobia/paranoia simply faded away by itself, effortlessly. For that year, I learned to tolerate the sudden anager I'd experience from time to time when I noticed a cell phone camera pointed at me in public. At home, my roommate and I argued about it constantly, mainly because he was never willing to do what I had done, and that really pissed me off. After I moved out, we worked through our differences and are still friends. Neither of us suffer from cell phone phobia anymore, but out of respect for one another, neither of us use our cell phones in the presence of the other.
Bala, Madhu & Chaudhary, Neetu. (2020). "Nomophobia: An emerging fear." Journal of Health & Wellbeing, 11(1), 115-118. doi: 10.15614/IJHW.v11i01.23
Freeman, D & Garety, P. (2000). "Comments on the content of persecutory delusions: Does the definition need clarification?" British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 39(4), 407-414. doi:10.1348/014466500163400
Hamm, A. (2009). "Specific phobias". The Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 32(3), 577-591. doi:10.1016/j.psc.2009.05.008
Henelly Jr., Mark (2018). "The Surveillance of Desire: Freud, Foucault, and Villette" Victorian Literature and Culture, 26(2), 421-440. doi:10.1017/s1060150300002497
Mandich, David V., Fields, Scott A., Fields, Scott A A. (2020). "A practical guide to the management of phobias." Journal of Family Practice, 69(1), 33-36.
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